the unknown completely unravels me sometimes. so does anticipation about the future. i always have to plan ahead, and i hate that about myself. i wish i could just take things in stride as they come. Most of these plans i make are trivial, unrealistic, or just dont work out anyways.
Thinking about things like my mother's surgery make my head feel like its going to explode (especially when im thinking about it while i have a sinus infection...). A knot twists in my stomache and my head pounds. How could something in the future have such an effect on me? Its so stupid, i hate being so vulnerable.
I guess this makes me a power/control freak though too. All of that unknown drives me crazy. Things that i cant have control over, the feeling that i dont know whats going to happen. I mean, i feel like a victim to whatever is going to happpen, whatever the universe wants. I hate that helpless feeling. i makes me physically sick sometimes...
i think i just need to suck it up and deal. im probably thinking too hard about something that shouldnt be.
toodles
♥
anna
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
anticipation anxiety
Posted by Anastasia Raelyn at 4:12:00 PM
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2 comments:
I know what you mean. I'm terrified of the unknown, petrified, even.
It's okay to be scared about that. I'd be scared, too! You should be allowed fear, but remember you have people to call on when it gets to be too much!
:|
all of these things are so sad! i feel like i know how you feel, but i cant connect to most of the things going on in your life. but at the same time i hear about this all the time, i feel so conflicted! :(
oh well...
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