just...them

ive always been that person people go to for advice and help. i love it, i strive to help people. i want to help them. but there are those people who just drains me...leave me an empty shell without energy or strength.

i cant handle it.

ive tried to help these people in the past, i have done the best i possibly can. i loose sleep worrying about them, cant break the connection for fear of what theyll do or how theyll feel, and use all i have in an attempt to save them. i worry about them. only them. and i get paid back from them by being sucked dry.

my attempts never seem to work though. it always ends in tears and teeth knashing. but seriously, ive learned that there are some people outside my reach, and ive tried my best to help them. its hard for me to understand that its best for me to disconnect myself from them. it really is the best sometimes.they just suck me in though, into their problems. until im struggling to get out, hardly knowing what to do or how to escape.

i did my best last night, but i feel like i made it worse. its been troubling me all night and morning. i shouldve learned from before that i should stay away from you, at least fairly distant and not make anything personal. but guess what? i cant handle it anymore. your dramatics and your stupid voice screaming for help, that it seems like no one but me hears.

im done.
too bad, thats a lie, and now im in it for the long run, until a climatic end reaches us as last time. it didnt have to be so, but you complicated it as usual. i know deep inside me (and as my puppy tells me) that i need to leave you for now...youre not my responsibility.

and thats that.